


Backstory

by Iniren



Category: Picard - Fandom, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-15 03:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19602616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iniren/pseuds/Iniren
Summary: Part of backstory for new Picard series. After reading an article referencing Picard dealing with choices he was not happy with and remembering something from one of the ST:Destiny novels. Would take place sometime after ST: nemesis maybe a year or two.





	Backstory

“Come,” he called. 

He continued staring out his window at the stars streaking by, he knew who it would be when his ready room door chimed.After the briefing he knew there would be many who would disagree with the plan, many with questions.He also knew she was the only one who would directly challenge him on it. 

She walked in and tossed her PADD on his desk, “Would you like to explain this to me?”she asked, her voice bewildered and surprised.

“You’ll be assigned to command the _Pasteur_ , Captain.I need somebody who has command and medical experience.”

“Admiral, that’s not what I’m talking about and you know it,” the ire in her voice was building, “I see that the armada moves in for the rescue, but you deliberately omitted just how you’ll be accomplishing that.It’s not like you to be vague, Jean-Luc. Unless… it’s something you don’t want us to know.”

“The armada isrisky venture.We need to be able to turn the tide of this battle and the line must be drawn here,” he replied stoically.He did not like this plan, but it was necessary to stop the threat.He’d succumbed to it before and vowed not to again.

“Traditional phasers and torpedos, transphasic shielding is beginning to fail…” she said, thinking aloud. Then it dawned on her just how the armada would break through and deflect their foe. "No..." she whispered, as if it could soften the horror that would come from it.He’d heard her voice this way before, full of anguish and it made him bear the full weight of conviction.“The thalaron weapon? ... I understand the stakes, Jean-Luc.I understand how vital this is, but you’re courting genocide on a planetary scale.The civilian casualties alone…”

Now his own frustration burst forth, “Don’t you think I know that, Beverly! That I like this?We’re facing a relentless and intractable enemy that consumes entire worlds without any thought.The Federation principles bind me to uphold and protect the autonomy of all species…”

“Don’t you dare!” she yelled disgusted by the hypocrisy, “What Federation principle allows you to justify this?!”

“It’s the only way!”

“Find a different way! The Jean-Luc Picard I served with for decades, the Jean-Luc I married would never condone this!"  Pausing, realizing the fears plaguing him, prompting this course of action, she softened her tone. “You survived and beat them before.You can again.If you do this, you’ll be successful, but how will you live with yourself?” 

If it were any other person touching this vulnerable place, he would have summarily dismissed them, but she knew and was present for so many of his trials and had faithfully walked him through his dark valleys.He was crushed by the accusation from somebody who knew him so intimately.

“I won’t, not in Starfleet. I’m leaving after this, Beverly, all of it.The armada is a necessity because the Federation made some terrible choices, rewrote the narrative to hide the truth and now, we’re faced with a battle for survival.We’ll be successful and ultimately the principles will go on, the galaxy secure, but I will know the truth,” he said softly.“I will not continue and I will not be put into a position to compromise again.”

“What are you saying, Jean-Luc?” she asked sympathetically, the rage dissipated by the anguish she heard in his voice.She came to stand in front of him, quietly resting her forehead on his shoulder.She meant it to comfort the two of them, but for him he felt the weight of failure even more acutely.It was not his failure, but circumstances had forced him to partake in it.

“I’m going back to the vineyard.They’ll want to celebrate a victory, somebody to parade around, it will not be me.Knowing the truth, I don’t deserve that - I don’t deserve the stars,” he said softly.

“That’s a heavy penance. You’ll die inside,” she said tears welling in her eyes. Heaving a heavy sigh, she whispered, “You know I can’t go with you.There will be too much to do after this…You may have to save the galaxy, but I still have to heal it.”

He nodded, finally lifting his arms to embrace her.He drank her in; the feel of her breathing, the tears that had started to fall, the scent of her hair.She did the same; his strength and tenderness, his pain.“I may not see you for awhile even if we survive this.Just know, I’ll always love you, Jean-Luc,” she said as she pressed her lips to his and silently left.

=======

“Doctor, he’s agitated again, asking for her,” the nurse reported.He was young and still new to the long-term care ward in Starfleet Medical. It was a research facility where the most difficult cases were overseen.

“Did you re-orient him, ensign?” the dark haired physician asked kindly.

“Yes, doctor. Who he is, the date, location, but it these break through episodes are becoming harder and harder to manage.”The patient’s violent outbursts overwhelmed him.He’d been chosen because he could physically manage his patient, but regularly restraining and sedating him wore on the nurse’s caring temperament.Plus having a patient with such a storied history as that of Jean-Luc Picard, made caring for him both an honor and a nightmare.Privacy was difficult to maintain, so minimal staff were involved with his care; the shifts were lonely and the public regularly clamored for information about the admiral.

Sighing she replied, “His Irumodic syndrome is progressing, considering it's been nearly fifteen years, it’s not unexpected.The new treatment is awaiting final approval, it should improve the symptoms considerably.It’s good that Dr. Crusher discovered the predisposition before symptoms began.”

“I read that in his history, something about a run in with Q prompting the initial scans.”

“She immediately began the research and after the accident, I continued,” the doctor replied quietly, “She was a good friend and mentor. It meant a lot to her - he meant a lot to her, so I couldn’t let the work go unfinished.”

“Doctor Ogawa, I hate explaining what happened.When he remembers, it’s like it happens fresh for him every time.”The ensign had told the admiral of his wife’s death, how the _Pasteur_ had been damaged trying to reach armada survivors, how she’d managed to save them, but got caught in a blast as they fled the contaminated area.The episodes of confusion had become more frequent and entrenched in the past months, so the nurse had told the story more and more.

“I know it’s hard and you’re doing very well.If I’m on duty next time it happens, call me and I’ll do it,” she smiled.Alyssa said a silent prayer that the treatment would prevent her from having to tell the story again herself.

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't really planning on this but it's the product of a coffee fueled brain busy at night. Hope you like it P/C shippers, even if it's kinda sad.


End file.
